All This Over a Tub

Welcome to the Pregnancy Necessities Carnival!
This post was not written for inclusion in the Pregnancy Necessities Carnival hosted by Parenting God’s Children but I wanted to celebrate today’s carnival. Participants share what they simply cannot live without during their pregnancies or simply what to gather for their upcoming new addition. Please see the full list of links to the other carnival submissions at the end of this post. Enjoy!

If you recall from my “I’m a Natural Parent – BUT…” carnival post I was in the middle of planning a hospital water birth (the first ever at that hospital) and was really excited about it.  Well on my 35th week pregnant, my OB office called me to tell me that the hospital’s CEO had denied our request to use a birthing tub^[1].  I was not given the full details but it came down to increased liability that the hospital was not interested in entertaining.  So once again my hopes/plans for my ideal birth experience were looking very grim.  I maintained my composure through the short two minute phone call, got on Facebook and let my fell NPN volunteers know about the disappointment I was experiencing, called my husband and broke down one more time during this pregnancy.

Little Man and I (3 months pregnant) were asleep under this ceiling.

I’m going to have a little pity party for me while I’m writing this just in case you haven’t been keeping track – skip this paragraph if you don’t want to listen.  In October the Northeast where we call home experienced a freak snow storm which destroyed my house while Little Man and I were asleep in our sun room – I remained stoic and positive because everyone was alive.  A week or so later I received a phone call from my OB that our first trimester screening came back with indications that our Little #2 could possibly have Down’s Syndrome – I did not remain stoic and cried on the phone and had to leave work.  We had to wait nearly three weeks for our next screening and were given the happy news that our odds could be reduced by half.  Informed that this was still not a guarantee and we had the option of an amnio to know for certain.  We had already made up our minds that we were this baby’s parents and we did not need an amnio.   To top all of this off I’ve been dealing with depression throughout this pregnancy.

So back to the tears I was crying on Wednesday over the phone with my husband.  He ever supportive throughout this pregnancy told me he was sorry that this was the case and asked what did I want to do?  I told him I wanted to find somewhere else to birth and wanted to contact the independent birthing center – that offers water births – to see if they would take us.  I asked if he was okay with that and he said that whatever I wanted to do was fine with him.  We got off the phone and I called them, relayed my story and made plans to wash my face, get dressed and go tour the center right then.

I skipped the face washing because tears were still streaming down my cheeks and I wasn’t sure when they would stop.  As soon as I walked through their doors though, I felt my composure return.  The young woman that showed me around was easy to talk to, very knowledgeable about the center and reassuring that I would be well cared for here.  She spoke about her own birth at the center and told me about the lactation services that were available.  She showed me the two rooms upstairs that I would have my choice of when I arrived.  We both laughed over our agreement that the “pink” room just wasn’t the place for us and she led me into the green room.  There in the doorway I could see the reason I was there – a birthing tub.  I was sold – I made an appointment for the following week to meet with a midwife for my 36 week appointment and asked what I needed to bring.

I got in the car called my husband, chattered away about the tour, the room, the family facilities, the safety equipment and the tub!  After I got off the phone, I called my OB office and told them my plans, requested that my records be ready for me to take after my appointment that night and thanked the receptionist for doing what she could to make this happen since it was quarter to 4 and the office manager leaves at 4.  I went home and called our families to let them know about the change in plans.

So here are my thoughts on our plans to date:

1. Know what you want and surround yourself with people who want to make it happen for you.
2. Plans change and that is okay – but if it isn’t for medical reasons and there is still time – do what you can to make what you want a possibility.
3. There are things that are within your control and things that are not.  Same goes for other people – so try to keep that in mind when they deliver disappointing news to you – they might not have a choice.

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Please take time to read the submissions by the other carnival participants!

• The Pregnancy Happiness List — That Mama Gretchen is half way through pregnancy number two and is spilling the beans on her pregnancy must-haves!
• What A Pregnant Woman Really Needs — Jennifer Hybrid Rasta Mama reflects on what items she could not live without during her pregnancy as well as those she wishes she had.
• Cravings of Another Kind — When reflecting on what made her pregnancy enjoyable, Adrienne at Mommying My Way discovered information is what she craved most of all.
• The Pregnancy Necessities — Kym at Our Crazy Corner of the World shares her top ten must haves for pregnant women.
• The Expectant Mom‘s List of Breastfeeding Stuff to Buy, or Not — Alicia at Lactation Narration shares a list of 10 breastfeeding products that the expectant mom might want to have on her shopping list, or not.
• Pregnancy Necessities with a Toddler In Tow — Amyables at Toddler in Tow lists several simple things that make pregnancy while parenting an older child much less stressful and more enjoyable.
• Ten Tips That Helped Me During Pregnancy — Kat at {Almost} Every Moment shares ten things that helped her get through her three pregnancies!
• First Trimester Staples — Megan BB from The Memoirs of Megan shares her first trimester “must haves”
• The Pregnancy Must Have — Jennifer at True Confessions of a Real Mommy shares the ONE thing she used almost daily, through all three pregnancies and suggests to all pregnant moms.
• Where to Find Cute Maternity Clothes — Lauren at Hobo Mama reviews which maternity clothing stores to hit or miss.
• My Pregnancy Support System — While there are many material things that are nice to have during pregnancy, Dionna at Code Name: Mama’s true essentials were her family.
• What I Needed During My Pregnancy While Still Breastfeeding — Jenny at I’m a Full-Time Mummy shares one of the things she needed during her second pregnancy while she was still breastfeeding her toddler.
• Ten Essentials for a HAPPY Pregnant Mama — Sarah at Parenting God’s Children is half way through her third pregnancy! She shares the things she‘s found to be essential to a happy pregnant mama.

1. ^[1] The staff at my OB’s office had put countless hours into trying to make this happen for myself and two other women. I know that they were as disappointed as I was with this result. It did not change my desire however to have a water birth. ↩